I have spent the last three days thinking about how to best put this blog into writing, there has been a certain arrogance about me the last three days, that I cannot help but allude to. I recently told a very dear friend of mine that if madonna is a gay man trapped in a womans body then I am the ultimate lesbian trapped in a mans body. I hate the thought of threesome involving other guys, I'm not saying never but at this precise moment in time it simply doesn't appeal to me, but I've had several loose encounters with three in a bed me and two women, nothing that could be described as a full threesome but enough too know that this is where my prefference lays.
I called this note Switch, but how can such a simple word have so many meanings, there's the obvious Switch that eludes to light, there's the switch that eludes to the whip from slavery days, and of course theres the switch that is neither dom nor sub but rather equally at home in either role, strange how every meaning has the same basic element, the element of power and to turn on or off.
If I had to call myself anything I would probably resort to calling ymself a switch because I have had conversations in both roles and am equally comfortable in either, although it depends on whom I am having a conversation with, some naturally bring out the sub and others naturally bring out the dom so yes I would say it's fair to call myself a switch.
It would be inconceivable to write like this in facebook, mostly because my mother reads them but also because so many people I work with have already got their safe little impression of me that it would only shatter them.
I recently got accused of switching because I ahve dropped all my red, gold and greeen in favor of a return to my warholesque style, I call it polysexual because whilst I am straight I am once again embracing the fact that whilst my body is not masculine and muscly I am equally adpet at creating an allure of sexuality, something I lost for a long time.
Some may call it geek chic but whatever it is called I know I am the absoloute master of it, I know I look more than just stylish I am probably looking more fuckable now than ever before especially as I am crafting myself as the ultimate quintessential gent and artist about town,
It would appear that a new era is dawning and my power with words is only increasing,
Monday, 7 July 2008
The river
Words, fall like raindrops, thiey start slowly then build into a tricklet that becomes a flood, all day the words have been building in delicious expectation of release. There is a certain delight that can only truly be realised with a very particular form of release. Words can turn you into everything and anything, at one and the same time we become the exhibitionist and the voyeur, what delights lay in the knowledge that you are being seen in ways others cannot imagine, what delights to know that you are seeing another in the same light.
Of course the greatest delight comes in the acknowledgement of non acknowledgement. Passing in the street and exchanging pleasantries, sitting for a coffee discussing the normalities of the day whilst knowing that you have seen and been seen in a darkness few would recognise as light.
I sat in work today feeling almost like an addict, the need to write and to expose myself so great that I almost felt guilty sat at my desk, some would read the phrase expose myself and take it to mean a literal expose, but that could not be further than my mind, although I do recall with particular fondness the times I both deliberatley and inadvertantly allowed parts of myself to show in company.
Of course the salon will always be one of my favourite such instances, I remember that day with a particular sense of affection, it could only have been her to carry out such a audacious thing, to grab my trousers and pull them so ahrd that everything came down and I stood there in front of the whole salon with everything on display.
I feigned embarassment everytime she mentioned to the other guys how blessed I was, but I loved the attention and each time she told others how big I was and how for a small guy I would put them all to shame I relished in the attention, like a filthy little attnetion whore I cherish the fact that if I am ever called to account for myself I would so admirably, God gives to the gracious, and the fact that it is not used very often makes it even more speacial.
I do not sleep about and as a result I am still inexperianced for a man of my age however I delight in the shock in a womans faec when she is confronted with my secret treasure for the first time, I delight in learning a new womans body, how she responds and how she reacts, such things delight me, her taste and her smell, her touch and how she likes to be caressed, such thoughts are even more enjoyable when I know that most people do not consider to me to be this way, such things delight me even more because I know that with the power of ym words I can drive any woman to the absoloute point of explosion and then pull back to leave her gasping for more, even more delightful is the thougght that some who read my words will experiance a secret burning, they will never reveal to me that my woords made them feel such a way but they will show it in other ways, subtle refferences and subtle hints as to my writing, it is then I will allow them to feel I am writing soley for their own secret indulgence, but the truth is I write for myself and myself alone, my words are created for the eyes of my secret audince but their intentions are for one woman alone and she alone will reveal the whole of me, she knows who she is and she alone will have been told these words are for her.
Of course the greatest delight comes in the acknowledgement of non acknowledgement. Passing in the street and exchanging pleasantries, sitting for a coffee discussing the normalities of the day whilst knowing that you have seen and been seen in a darkness few would recognise as light.
I sat in work today feeling almost like an addict, the need to write and to expose myself so great that I almost felt guilty sat at my desk, some would read the phrase expose myself and take it to mean a literal expose, but that could not be further than my mind, although I do recall with particular fondness the times I both deliberatley and inadvertantly allowed parts of myself to show in company.
Of course the salon will always be one of my favourite such instances, I remember that day with a particular sense of affection, it could only have been her to carry out such a audacious thing, to grab my trousers and pull them so ahrd that everything came down and I stood there in front of the whole salon with everything on display.
I feigned embarassment everytime she mentioned to the other guys how blessed I was, but I loved the attention and each time she told others how big I was and how for a small guy I would put them all to shame I relished in the attention, like a filthy little attnetion whore I cherish the fact that if I am ever called to account for myself I would so admirably, God gives to the gracious, and the fact that it is not used very often makes it even more speacial.
I do not sleep about and as a result I am still inexperianced for a man of my age however I delight in the shock in a womans faec when she is confronted with my secret treasure for the first time, I delight in learning a new womans body, how she responds and how she reacts, such things delight me, her taste and her smell, her touch and how she likes to be caressed, such thoughts are even more enjoyable when I know that most people do not consider to me to be this way, such things delight me even more because I know that with the power of ym words I can drive any woman to the absoloute point of explosion and then pull back to leave her gasping for more, even more delightful is the thougght that some who read my words will experiance a secret burning, they will never reveal to me that my woords made them feel such a way but they will show it in other ways, subtle refferences and subtle hints as to my writing, it is then I will allow them to feel I am writing soley for their own secret indulgence, but the truth is I write for myself and myself alone, my words are created for the eyes of my secret audince but their intentions are for one woman alone and she alone will reveal the whole of me, she knows who she is and she alone will have been told these words are for her.
Sunday, 6 July 2008
Croeseo Y Factori
Maybe I should start by introducing myself, obviously not revealing myself, especially not on a sunday but a brief introduction.
I am one of a growing number of disillusiioned thirty something adults who for a myriad of reasons still lives at home. I work in a call center for my subversive pain element and for the pleasure element I am a photographer, not a paid photographer (yet) but we do have our own website, the we I refer to in this instance is someone to whom refference may fall several times but at all times shall remain secret. Not for any attempt at creating an air of mystery but just simply to protect them from unwanted exposure.
So that's a brief introduction, obviously being male I can be extremley shallow about somethings but I can also be quite deep and intelligent, for some reason despite being short, and skinny I get a lot of jealousy from guys who I would be prone to looking up to, mostly because they are all taller than me, but also because I have this impression that women like tall dark handsome muscley guys, I'm short, and far from being muscley although I guess I am quite handsome.
This is probably the most sensible it's ever going to get, I already write quite a lot on my facebook account, but there are somethings that are best not revealed to all and sundry and hence the creation of this page, I have a distinct feeling that this will quickly become my blog of choice and who knows it may even generate a whole new gathering of interest, if so all well and good, if not then at least here I can say what I really think without being worried about causing confusion of offence.
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